On our podcast discussing summer intentionality, Skate Church Pastor Mason Randall suggested that parents take a short road trip with their teen in order to lay a foundation for improving the relationship.  I asked him to provide a list of twenty questions a parent might bring along in order to guide the conversation.  Use or edit whichever of these questions seem to fit your situation.   

1.      What is something you want me to know about you?

2.      In what ways do you feel that I do not understand you?

3.      How do you hope that our relationship can improve over this next year?

4.      How can I do a better job listening to you?

5.      What are several ways I can be a better parent to you?

6.      What are some new things that our family can do together for fun?

7.      In what way would you like for me to consider giving you more responsibility and freedom?

8.      Who are your most important friends right now and why?

9.      Who do you look up to right now?

10.  What is your biggest worry?

11.  What do you think that I think about you?

12.  What one word best describes you?

13.  If you could change something about your school, what would you change?

14.  When do you feel most alive?

15.  What would be the best day of your life?  The worst day?

16.  If you could have one super power, which super power would you have and why?

17.  What is your strongest emotion?

18.  What do you want to be remembered for?

19.  What is your best childhood memory?

20.  How can I do a better job serving you?

Keep in mind, the goal is to listen and learn – not to correct their impressions or “fix” anything too quickly.  Also, remember that your teen may feel awkward talking to you about some of these concerns if you have not had similar chats before.  Be patient, and don’t worry if they struggle opening up.  Simply move on to whatever fun experiences you’ve planned and try again later.