School is back in session. 

Your job has you running ragged. 

And the tornado of activity necessary to prepare for the holidays is approaching fast! 

That’s why you can't find time to come up with ideas for nurturing a stronger marriage or nurturing faith in the kids. 

Don't worry, we are here to help.  Click and download the PDF documents below.  You will find ideas for your next date night, family night or parent/teen movie night so you can be more intentional during the next few weeks.   

Marriage Date Night - Our Mini Dreams (245.88 kb) 

Faith@Home Young Kids - Impression Points (235.50 kb)

Faith@Home Teens - Lord of the Flies Movie Night (236.49 kb)

Stop by the HomePointe Center this weekend to pick up a larger collection of free ideas.   Or, better yet, get a Simply Romantic Nights kit or a Just Add Family kit or the Movie Nights book in order to make “grab and go” intentionality easy all year long.

Earlier this year several thousand Lake Pointe attendees completed a self-graded appraisal in which we asked ourselves several important questions:

□       Have I intentionally nurtured a strong marriage?

□       Have I been intentional about passing the faith to my children or grandchildren?

□       Am I living out my faith at home where it matters most?

I hold in my hands the results of those surveys.  It turns out we graded ourselves only slightly above mediocre; a C+ average.  That grade might keep us out of summer school, but it certainly won’t land us on the honor roll.    

As you may recall, the HomePointe Appraisal provides a list of common activities that characterize a God-honoring marriage as well as being an intentional parent or grandparent.  Here is a list of the activities we said we do well and those we don’t…

Married Couples are MOST likely to.... 

• - Demonstrate meaningful touch and/or verbal affirmation at least once per day
•  - Have a time of focused, non-task driven communication at least three times weekly
• - Make an effort to take care of self physically and emotionally to be best partner possible

Married Couples are LEAST likely to.... 

• - Pray with spouse at least twice per week (excluding saying grace at meals)
• - Write a note, give a flower, etc. at least twice per month
• - Have a “date night” twice or more per month

Our Minivan Years workshop emphasizes how and why We All Wear Hand-Me-Downs, which is also the title of the latest free HomePointe audio CD.  (You can go to the podcast now by clicking HERE.) 

The bottom line is this:  Everyone can give a better family heritage than he or she might have received.  All it takes is a bit of intentionality.  

As a baby step in that process, we’ve provided a quick assessment tool designed to help you evaluate the relative strength of your social, emotional and spiritual legacy.  Take a few minutes to reflect upon and score the heritage you received by clicking and printing the following document...   

HandMeDownAssessments (53.17 kb)

If you are married, it is best to have both spouses take the assessment and use it as the basis of a date-night discussion.  Thousands of couples have found this process helpful as they become intentional about keeping the strong elements and replacing the weak in order to give the next generation a solid spiritual legacy. To go even further, you can attend our two week Minivan Years workshop during the following ABF classes starting September 20th. 

 When and Where:     Saturday, 7:15 pm, Rm. W300A-B
                                   Sunday, 9:30 am, Rm. W214
                                   Sunday, 11:00 am, Rm. W204

You might also want to stop by the HomePointe Center and pick up a copy of the book Your Heritage – Becoming Intentional About the Legacy You Leave. 

Here are a few stories of Lake Pointe familes trying to be intentional at home.  Enjoy! 

BEDTIME INTENTIONALITY:  A nightly routine at bedtime is dad always has to sing Jesus loves me and pray right before bedtime to the little ones, Jared 10 and Noah 8.  We got to the point where we really wanted to start including a scripture or a story in our routine.  I came across a book offered in the Homepointe center titled "Great News" and it struck me as perfect in its length of each story and how it weaved through each one even those from the old testament, how Christ is the center and our need for Him in our lives.  The boys were really excited when I brought the book home and couldn't wait to get started.  Most of the time Jared would already have the book out and turned to the story we were to read that night.  After we had finished reading it they wanted to read it again.  One morning Noah needed something for show and tell at school and he told his mother that he wanted to take the bible story book and tell his class how we read it every night.  His mother had called me later that morning and told me what he did and I have to say I was very encouraged.  Thank you for offering the resources and material that you do.  (Rob Daniels)  

BUILDING FROM SCRATCH:  I am so proud of my husband for overcoming a rough childhood and committing to love our two sons unconditionally and raise them in a Christian home.  My husband did not grow up in a Christian home and had to endure a lot of hardships growing up. After I met my husband, he decided to be baptized to show his commitment to Christ. He asked his father to attend the baptism, but his father got upset and did not support that decision and he would not come to the church to watch him get baptized. My husband has committed to teaching our children about Christ and has encouraged them to memorize scripture through the AWANA program. He even volunteers as their AWANA leader so he can encourage other children to read God’s word and memorize scripture. He led our two sons to Christ during a family camping trip and he was by their side when they were baptized in 2004. Our family has been on several family mission trips to Mexico and we plan to continue to be in the AWANA club and do missions together as a family. Our family prays together every night and we speak of God every chance we get. I am so thankful the Lord used my husband’s past childhood to help him be a better father and that he, with Christ’s help, broke the cycle of his rough childhood.    (Michelle Ewton) 

ROMANTIC PARENTS:  My parents are real romantic because they like to kiss each other after my mom makes my dad’s favorite meal or on birthdays (even on mine) and it totally groses me and my brother out.  I’m just glad that they have a strong marriage.  (Spencer Breeden)  

GRANDPARENT DELIGHTS:  I have several notes on file on my computer, but this one is my favorite.  Ron was a great grandfather.  He loved playing with the grandchildren.  Sometimes I wondered who was the biggest kid.  I do not know the details of what went on while I was gone and Ron was home with the kids.  He was doing something on the roof, I guess.  Nikki and Jacob are the grandchildren that remember Ron the most.  They really loved him.  Looking back, I see very plainly that he was showing God's love in a mighty way to the children.  Nikki wrote this note with different colored ink.  The last part doesn't show very well - it says " You are so cool for letting me get on the roof!  Shhhhh don't tell.  God Bless you."  I like to use special things like this to use in my scrapbooking.  I pray that I can leave a legacy of love for my family.  (Jan Helm)  

UNEXPECTED SURPRISE:  Thought I would share a little something that happened in our home on Wednesday… I home school our seven-year-old daughter Laney, and most mornings we begin with her God time cards (which she gets every week from Kidstown).  Well, this Wednesday we began as we usually do by reading the suggested Scripture at the top of the card and then reading the card.  We had read in Psalms about David asking the Lord to restore the joy he experienced when he was saved.  The God time card said, “If you haven’t asked Jesus to be your Savior, ask Him what that joy is like.”  Well, I paused before going on and I asked Laney, “You haven’t asked Jesus to be your Savior, have you sweetie?”.  (We constantly are talking about the Lord with our kids and praying for them and their salvation, and I just wasn’t sure if maybe she had asked Jesus to be her Savior in private, so I was just double-checking before moving on.)  Laney smiled a big smile and responded, “No…but I want to!!!”.  I said, “Now?” wishing that her father was home because he seems to always have just the right words….and she answered, “Now.”   So, I put our seven-month-old down for a nap really, really quickly, and our three-year-old was busy coloring….and we sat down on the couch together.  I nervously said, “Mommy will pray and you just repeat after me, okay?”.  She nodded, and we prayed a shaky, but from-the-heart, “sinner’s prayer”.  As a mommy, it just doesn’t get much better.  She asked if we could dance after that, so we put on the loudest praise music and danced our hearts out.  Dancing was followed by phone calls to Daddy, Memaw and Peeps, and Grandma.   We celebrated together when Daddy got home with a family trip to Joe Willy’s and cupcakes at our house afterwards!!!  It was a precious time, and I am so thankful to the Lord for drawing Laney to Him at this young age…and so thankful to have been a part of it.  (Joanie Allen)

Amy Van Vleck shared this great idea - something she does every summer to be intentional with her kids at home. 

Kid Kamp

I can’t think of a better time to be intentional with my kids then when they are out of school for the summer. Because the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are just that, I created “Kid Kamp,” a week of refreshment and reinforcement about the important things in life. Each family can adapt these ideas to their specific family’s ages, interests, and needs. 

Kid Kamp is a one-week, home-bound, intentionally fun time. Here’s what we do: 

First, we pick a week that has no conflicts: no scheduled family vacation, no VBS, no out-of-town guests, no planned activities. This narrows it down a lot! Then, we pencil in Kid Kamp. 

Each day, the kids work, play, create, and learn together in stations, much like they do at summer camp. Each station is associated with a scripture, therefore reinforcing God’s Word with each lesson. We start at 9 am and end at Noon. The rest of the day is open for more play and lots of conversation. Their friends come over and guess what? They hear about Kid Kamp! On Friday of that week, I reward them with a trip to the pool (either a neighbor’s, community, or local water park, depending on funds). 

The stations I use are listed below; however crafts and field trips can easily be added: 

Game Station – teaches fairness and cooperation.

“Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven.” Colossians 4:1 This station can be played with board games or cards, or it can be an outside activity with balls, ring tosses, horseshoes. You create the games. The point is to play together and encourage fairness and cooperation. Parents can play along or simply coach.

Recreation – teaches teamwork and/or encouragement.

For older kids: “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1b-3 

For younger kids: “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14 

Rec takes place outside. I set up an obstacle course, which gets harder each year, and have the kids take turns running through it while the others cheer them on. You can add water balloons to throw at the runner for extra excitement and refreshment (this is Texas!). Because of the Philippians verse, I give cold drinks and/or ice cream treats as “prizes” for their perseverance. 

“Home” Work – teaches the how-to of necessary tasks.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men [or mom!].” Colossians 3:23 

This is a chance for them to practice household chores and for me to instruct. Any age child can participate. Get creative! Put on some fun music and dance around while instructing. Pick two activities per day. Repeat those that need polishing. For example, if the towels need to be folded a certain way to fit into the linen closet, practice folding them. This is a chance for parents to set expectations and reinforce what is acceptable, and what is not. Examples include:

Sort, Wash, Fold Clothes

Load, unload Dishwasher

Dust, vacuum

Polish furniture

Clean windows, mirrors

Wash cars or bicycles

Change Sheets

Mow grass

Sweep inside and out

Balance checkbook, or simple finances

The list goes on and on… 

Scripture Memory – Parents select a verse (or two) that is applicable to the current family situation.

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11Parents should pick verses that will help shape the character of their children, and/or verses that speak to a specific problem.  

Our favorite was the year we learned Proverbs 11:17: “A kind man benefits himself, but a mean man brings himself trouble.” Our children, ages 9, 5, and 4 at that time, were having difficulty showing kindness to each other, so we memorized this verse. They still remember it – which comes in handy when ugliness, well, rears its head. 

This is such an adaptable and intentional plan for those “oh no, what-do-we-do-now?” weeks of summer. It can easily become an anticipated summer tradition.

We are excited about the HomePointe “Summer of Intentionality” contest running through August 31^st.  Local businesses have given us some terrific prizes to encourage Lake Pointe families as they create a culture of strong families.   (Visit www.homepointe.org/contest)   

Why are we sponsoring this contest?  Because we want to capture both the stories and pictures of Lake Pointe families living out what it means to be intentional at home.  The best stories will win prizes.  But every story inspires us to build strong families one step at a time.  This contest will help us as we try to share the wealth of great ideas from one home to the next.

Below you’ll find examples of the kind of stories (and pictures) we’d love to receive in several of the contest categories.  Of course, you can share on any topic you wish – but these might get the creative juices going as you consider the steps you will take as you enter your summer of intentionality!

CATEGORY:  INTENTIONAL OR BUST!

From Julie:  We had our first "official" Family Fun Night last night, on Valentine's Day.   I was babysitting my niece and nephew, so they got to join in on the fun too.  We did the activity recommended for Valentine's Day.  The reading from 1 Corinthians  was great as we talked about true love. I loved the connection they made as we pointed out how we are a mirror of Christ's love.  All of the kids contributed some good points, and the 1 yr. old watched and laughed.  The favorite part was, of course, feeding each other ice cream unselfishly.  The activity was easy to follow, didn't take much preparation, and was a huge success! My girls are asking if we can do a Family Fun activity EVERY night!!!  Here are some pics of our feeding each other!    

CATEGORY:  ROMANTIC PARENTS

Kids instinctively expect themselves to be the center of a parent’s universe.  But Wes Hartley’s kids know better.  They have heard over and over that they are not, in fact, the center of his universe thanks to a little family routine that goes like this...

DAD: “I have a secret!”  
CHILD: “What?”
DAD: “I love your Mom WAY more than I love you!”
CHILD, with eyes rolling.....”That’s not a secret! You tell us that all the time!” 

An odd way of creating security in children?  Perhaps.  But Wes knows that nothing undermines a child’s stability like the fear their parents might divorce.  That’s why Wes repeatedly tells his children that Mom, not the kids, is top on his list.  After all, the best gift any parent can give his or her child is a strong marriage!  

CATEGORY:  BUILDING FROM SCRATCH

Bridget did not grow up in a family of faith.  But she and husband Travis are determined to inspire and nurture the faith of their own children – even if it means starting from scratch.  They sent a note and pictures to HomePointe in January… 

We bought the Just Add Family recipes this weekend and began to use it last night during our family night.  We started with the We Are His Gloves recipe.  Here are a few pictures.  It is very funny watching the kids trying to pick up the coins with my ski gloves on!  (Travis) 

CATEGORY:  LIFE-GIVING WOMAN

Early on in the mothering process Kay Windahl began a habit of capturing and journaling cute things that happened with the kids.  Now she reads these stories to her older children to give them a good laugh and to celebrate the joy they have been to the family.  Here are just a few of those journal entries…

• Rhett (toddler) you are always playing with, and losing our keys.  Today you had taken the keys off the coffee table.  Dad and I were standing there and I took them from you and hung them on the intercom button.  You took a kitchen towel and snapped the keys right off the button picked them up and toddled away.  Daddy looked at me astonished, wide eyed/open mouthed and said “Smart baby.”
• Luke we were walking in the post office and a Lady smiled at you, you smiled back, waved and shouted –‘Hey dad that lady didn’t have any front teeth!
• Gianni and Luke  (three and two years old) you both received candy sticks.  When Luke opened his it was broken which caused the tears to start flowing.  Gianni, you covertly broke yours and showed him exclaiming  “Look Luke, mine’s broken too!”
• Luke today you asked “When God made the sun did He burn his hands?”  

We’d love for you to share a story, picture, memory from your childhood or an easy to implement idea and we’ll pass it on to the world!  To learn how you could win, visit www.homepointe.org/contest

I officially declare this summer the HomePointe Season of Narnia!

Why?  Three reasons. 

First, Disney is releasing Prince Caspian, the second film in the Chronicles of Narnia series.  That means movie trailers and kids meal toys will make it easy for parents to get their children excited about exploring the beliefs of C.S. Lewis, the creator of Narnia and the man many consider last century’s most influential Christian writer.

Second, I consider the Chronicles of Narnia essential to awakening a child’s imagination to the wonders of Christian faith.  C.S. Lewis masterfully merged foundational Christian truths with fantastic stories.  And the result is pure magic!  You see, kids raised in church can become bored with the faith because they’ve “heard it all before.”  But when they enter the imaginative world of Narnia, they will find themselves caught off guard and pleasantly surprised by truths they might have known their entire lives. 

Finally, I have seen the power of this process first hand in the lives of my four children.  After listening to the seven stories, they loved Jesus like never before.  Come to think of it, so did Olivia and I!   

Now, a word about age appropriateness. 

□       THE BOOKS OR RADIO DRAMAS:  The books or Focus on the Family Radio Theatre versions (available at the HomePointe Center) are ideal for kids about eight and older.  We recommend that the entire family experience them while on a road trip together.  Have the children shut off the video games and DVD and listen to the full cast dramatization of The Magicians Nephew or any of the other stories.  Trust me, you will all fall in love with them!

□       THE MOVIE:  I spoke to the head of marketing for Prince Caspian at Disney who said that certain battle scenes in the film make it a bit too intense for younger children.  She suggested about grade four or five and above.

Stop by the HomePointe Center this weekend and pick up the free CD in which I discuss how to find God in Narnia.  You can also download that discussion from our podcast by going to the podcast link.  Enjoy!

Thoughts from Olivia...

An eight year study conducted by Columbia University revealed that kids who have dinner with their parents less than three times per week are much more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs than kids who have dinner with their parents five to seven times per week.  Kids who dine frequently with their parents also have reduced factors of boredom, academic problems and overall stress.

Unfortunately, the study didn’t measure what all of those meals together does to mom’s stress level.  So I thought I would shed some light on the subject.

During our B.C. era (Before Children) Kurt and I enjoyed dinner time as a chance for the two of us to set aside the demands of our respective careers and devote all of our attention to one another.  Even a quick sandwich with chips served to calm our chaos and allowed us to look into one another’s eyes as we enjoyed two of life’s great pleasures – dining and conversation.  After God added children to our table, mealtime became an entirely different experience.  We still go to an occasional restaurant, but candles have been replaced with ketchup packets.  Rather than the time of day I anticipated as a chance to relax with my husband, mealtime became the hour Kurt and I would most likely have a nervous breakdown.  

Dad:  “Who’s turn is it to say the blessing tonight?”

Nicole:  “I’ll pray!”

Mom:  “Nicole, you’ve prayed every night for the past two years.  I think it might be one of your brothers’ turn.”

Nicole:  “But I want to pray!”

Dad:  “OK.  First Kyle will pray and then Nicole can pray.”

Every night we made the same compromise.  So every night the food cooled while we waited for Nicole to thank God for every imaginable blessing – from her most recent toy to her playtime with friends to the lovely sky to each member of the family.  In our B.C. years, I warmed up leftovers.  Now I warm up first run meals before the first bite.

As soon as we begin passing the food around, the countdown begins.  Within five minutes, at most eight, someone will invariably knock over their drink.  Like the law of gravity assures heavy objects fall downward, the law of mealtime assures kid elbows will catch cup corners.  Like a crowd doing the wave at the baseball stadium, every member of the family jumps up from the table with hands raised in reaction to the inevitable splash.  I’m convinced whoever coined the phrase “No need to cry over spilled milk” never had kids.  

Confident the god of spills has been satisfied for the evening, we restore the table to order and again heat the food to carry on with mealtime.  We then work through the rest of our routine, including a favorite mealtime activity Kurt triggers with the phrase “High Low!”

“High Low!” means the time has come for each person to share the high point of their day and the low point of their day.  I might share, for example, that my high point came when Troy wrote me a little note of encouragement – while my low point came when Troy’s elbow hit the cup. 

Kurt, on the other hand, might share that his high point came when he kissed Mommy upon arriving home from work – while his low point came when Mommy didn’t name the same high.

Kyle might share a high test score as his high and showing up late for band practice as his low.  

Troy’s high typically grows out of some sporting activity, such as a roller hockey goal or beating Dad playing HORSE in basketball.  His low, on the other hand, probably came when he missed a shot or lost to Dad.

Nicole doesn’t quite get the point of the activity since she typically lists everything she enjoyed doing the preceding two months – a list that sounds awful similar to her prolonged prayer from earlier in the meal.

Our High-Low routine took on special significance during Shaun’s forth-grade year.  I remember the evening he skipped naming a high and went immediately to his low.  Suddenly, mealtime became more than a chance to feed the family and overwork the microwave.  It opened the door to uncover some deep hurts in our second child’s life.  My heart sank when I learned his friends had turned against him at school.  But it enabled us to intervene.  Before long, Shaun’s sagging head returned to its former confidence and joy.  If it hadn’t been for our mealtime routine, however, I fear we might not have learned about the problem until more damage had been done.

Other mealtimes surfaced other kid challenges.  It was during a post-spill conversation that we learned of Kyle’s debate with a biased science teacher, opening the door for Kurt to help him defend the intellectual rigor of Christian belief.  We discovered and corrected Troy’s disrespectful attitude with a teacher after he listed getting in trouble at school as the day’s low.  And we found out Nicole hadn’t been as nice as the pre-school director implied when it came to sharing.  All thanks to a little routine called High-Low. 

I think I understand why kids who eat meals with their parents five to seven nights per week do better.  Despite the stress it adds to my life and the mess it creates on my table, I think the time and energy invested pay handsome dividends in the lives of four very important people.      

All of us need a bit of encouragement, especially in the more stressful seasons of the year - like Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.  Unfortunately, our homes - the place we most need others cheering us on - can easily digress into a place filled with negativity.  Of course, none of us mean to be mean.  Its just that we all have a touch of Ameican Idol's Simon hidden deep within.  Or maybe not so hidden.  Human nature often drags us down hill into a pattern of sarcasm, criticism and "not nice to be around" attitudes.  So we need to be intentional about helping our famlies push past natural negativity in order to create an environment of encouragement.  We recently used this simple family night activity as a reminder...  

Place an egg, a glass or jar of water, and a large bowl of salt before each of your children at the table.  Tell them that they are going to try to make the egg float in the water.  First, put the egg in the water and tell everyone to yell at it.  Use shaming phrases such as "Float, you dumb egg!  Are you so lazy that you can't even float to the top of the water?" or "What are you, an egg or a mouse?"  Make the point that it does no good to treat the egg with disrespect or use cutting remarks.  Instead, try encouragement.  One at a time, each child can stir spoonfuls of salt into the water while the other family members take turns saying encouraging or complimentary things about that child.  Keep it up until the egg begins to float in the water.  When everyone has successfully floated his egg (and been affirmed by the family) read Hebrews 10:24-25 together and discuss how treating others with respect and encouragement helps them do better, while disrespect and criticism can cause their hearts to sink.  (Note:  It takes a lot of salt to make this activity work, so be certain to have enough on hand.  It would also be wise for parents to try it without the kids first to know what to expect.) 

For more ways to incorporate faith into your home, check out the Just Add Family kit offering a year's worth of mealtime, bedtime, family night, holiday and special occassion ideas.  (Sets are available at the campus HomePointe Center or in the resource section of www.homepointe.org) 

One of the most important times of the year to emphasize our faith at home is the week of Easter.  Here are two ideas you might want to try.

GOOD FRIDAY:  Here is a picture of an activity we did one year on Good Friday.  I worked with one of my sons to create a make-shift cross with a few boards and spare nails.  We then gathered the family together and read Romans 3:23.  We explained that Jesus died on a cross to pay for the sins all of us commit.  Then each of us listed some of our sins on a piece of paper (the little ones drew a picture of a mean face) and took turns nailing those pages to the cross as a tangible reminder of what Good Friday is all about.

EASTER:  Our family has an Easter morning tradition that helps us emphasize the true meaning of the holiday before the kids search for their candy filled baskets.  We use a resource called "Ressurection Eggs" where each egg contains a symbol of some important aspect of the Easter story.  As the children find the eggs in order, we retell the Easter story until reaching the final egg - which is empty, just like the tomb! 

Pick up a recipe card for the cross activity or buy a set of "Resurrection Eggs" from the HomePointe Center this week so you will be ready to build faith at home this coming holy week.